Self Care Saturday.... A Preview of What's to Come...

"A women is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture, and transform." - Diane Marie Child. 

Sorry to the dudes who are reading this, but this post is for the ladies. Or is it? We ALL have the power within us to do all three whether we are a woman, man, transitioning, searching... humans. ALL.  Here at the 'Duchess', my vision is to include all. As someone who was an invisible wall-flower most of her adolescence who grew into a socially awkward artist who never really fit in anywhere; I want this to be the place for you to fit in. 

One of my favorite writers and poets Maya Angelou says 'If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude'.  What is the best form of self care? In my opinion it is taking care of your insides first, your inner self.  No, not what you eat, we'll cover that in a latter post. I'm talking about your attitude, how you feel about yourself, your outlook on life. 

Our battles with self-esteem largely begin in our childhood and adolescence, and the battle usually carries over to our adult years if our previous issues are not addressed. It's just a fact of life.I find it ironic, when I was twelve I was this invisible, awkward school outcast, now I have 500+ friends on FB. There are also days when I feel like I'm that girl again, invisible. No invites to social events, I reach out to 'deaf' ears, and I'm right back to 1984. A few months ago I wrote sort of a manifesto for myself in an effort to strengthen my self esteem and bolster my positive mental attitude. 

It's time to be YOU, not THEM. Be proud, be strong, and never apologize for being you. You have purpose, you have passion, and you have a love for ALL. Now is the time to stand, now is the time to let your voice be heard in the din of derision. Embrace your whimsy and set yourself free. Smile in the face of those who try to condescend you, be a living prayer of hope for those who are voiceless. Believe, do not let the dogma of the world we live in crush your spirit. It is time to evolve, pray, and embrace what you have been blessed with. Be YOU.

We all have our days, that can be expected, but when our 'days' turn into 'weeks' and then 'months', that is a cause for alarm. Do you have a manifesto for yourself? Do you have something reminds you how fabulous and amazeballs you can be, how your life can be? It can be a quote from one of your favorite writers, a picture of something that makes you happy and something you can strive towards. I find that when my 'day' starts morphing into a 'week' that I pull out my manifesto and read it. The words then take me where I need to be, and I am in a place not filled with darkness and pain, but hope. I smile. As someone who deals with bipolar, PTSD anxiety and chronic illness I hate platitudes, this is not one, this is a tool. 

Another thing to get yourself smiley and on the road to positive vibes.... take the time to cut out the negativity in your life. Realistically, because I know there are some of us out there that do not like our jobs, and realistically you cannot quit, it's not realistic to quit. You have to learn to release the negative thoughts and replace them with positive. 

You have to release the negative people... yes people. People who don't make you feel as if you are ever good enough, people who judge you,  people who use you. These people you might be afraid to let go in fear of social backlash... but the thing is... is holding on to that friendship worth it? One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was 'Quit chasing after people'. If you feel you have to chase after that friend for their attention and approval, it's NOT WORTH IT! Quit stressing yourself out over someone who most likely doesn't even give you the time of day let alone the blessing of true friendship. LET IT GO. You will thank yourself for it.

Surround yourself with positive; bright colors, flowers, and people. Do things that make you happy... CREATE something. There is no better way than to feel better about yourself and feel good on the inside is to create something... whether it be a card, a prayer shawl, a scrapbook page, a short story. Creativity has been my therapy, my happy place when everything else in my life seems to be going bonkers.

Time...some of us seem to believe that self-care takes time, it does, but you are worth it. Just reading this blog post took you little over 7 minutes.... to share it is just a click away.  Do leave some feedback,  take all the time you need. It is after all, your time. 

Happy Self-Care Saturday.....

-The Duchess.....